One of the first questions people often ask about addiction is: how do I know if I have a problem? And this can be especially tricky with alcohol, as the social acceptance and integration of alcohol is so accepted in many social circles in the United States. In young adult life drinking, and alcohol tolerance, are even glamorized, and the myth continues to persist that the more you drink, the better you’ll feel.

As addiction develops, however, alcohol becomes more of a safety net—your way of getting through the day, dealing with the stressors of life. You may notice that the frequency of your drinking is increasing, or the amount you drink in one sitting is going up. You may have found others in your life becoming concerned about your drinking, or you may be trying to hide how much you’re drinking from your loved ones.

Ultimately, you are the only person who can decide if you have an alcohol “problem.” That said, there are four main categories that I like to use to help you decide if your use is problematic:

01 / PURPOSE — Why are you drinking?

Although you can still have a problem with drinking if you’re drinking socially, often if your drinking is becoming problematic you are drinking to cope with stressors in your life—anxiety, depression, trauma, marital stress, work stress, grief, or anything else that is weighing heavily on your mind.

02 / QUANTITY — How much are you drinking?

While quantity and frequency of drinking can be very relative (i.e., “I must not have a problem because I don’t drink as much as John does”), you may be able to observe that you are drinking significantly more, or more times per week, than you were in the past.

03 / CONTROL — Can you stop drinking?

Control is critical. If you set goals for your drinking and never seem to achieve them, what does that say about who is in control of your relationship with alcohol? If alcohol is just a harmless way to relax, you should be able to set boundaries around your use or even take days or weeks away from alcohol without it being a significant struggle.

04 / CONSEQUENCES — Is drinking causing problems in your life?

One of the hallmarks of unhealthy behavior is that you keep doing it, even though it’s causing you harm. With alcohol, you may notice it negatively affecting numerous aspects of your life, including your health, weight, mental health, social relationships, work quality, sleep quality, bank account, or personal safety. Most of the time in life, if these consequences are happening due to a behavior, you stop doing that behavior. If you’re finding you make an exception for drinking, that’s an important signal.

If you think you have a problem with alcohol, the good news is that numerous treatments exist to help you, including professional counseling, medications, smartphone apps, online communities, and peer-support groups. Part of the journey towards recovery is finding the system that works best for you.

If you’re ready to start changing your relationship with alcohol, the first step in treatment is a comprehensive psychosocial assessment—we’ll talk about your past, your present, and your goals for the future. After setting goals, we’ll talk about what’s necessary to achieve those goals from a holistic standpoint, including specific therapeutic interventions, other professionals to potentially add to your care team (such as your primary care doctor or a psychiatrist), medication options available for suppressing alcohol cravings, recovery communities, as well as smartphone apps to support your efforts between sessions.

I’m passionate about my concierge therapy model, which relieves the pressures of session length and scheduling, and also allows me to provide support and connection throughout the week via text messages, emails, or calls. Alcoholism is a chronic condition, and knowing you have your therapist on-call can provide invaluable peace of mind.

Working with me starts with scheduling a complimentary initial video consultation—this gives us a chance to meet each other, and you can decide whether working together feels like the right fit for you. If it feels like a fit we’ll plan a time for our initial evaluation and chart our course forward from there!